Summers
by EllieRose101
Summary: Dawn's diary entries about her family, including Spike – a summary.


_Dawn burnt all her old diaries when she found out they were filled with fake memories made by monks, but Spike knew the value in the written word and wanted to encourage her to make fresh entries. He gifted her a new notebook on her birthday without Buffy knowing, but what he didn't know is that Dawn mostly wrote about them in it. She had a lot of time to ponder things, especially over the holidays. Here are some key events from her perspective._

 _[A/n: This covers season five right up until a year after the end of Angel but doesn't account for anything in the comics.]_

* * *

Summer One (2001: After Season Five)

Summers: One – just me, on my own. Well, dad's still alive somewhere, but I don't think that counts. I mean, I technically haven't even met him in real life, whatever that even means. I'm not sure I consider him family.

Spike's here though. He's great and all, but it's not the same either. I miss Mom, but I think losing Buffy was worse. She died for me. _Because_ of me.

A lot of days, that fact doesn't feel real. Spike says it's not true, but I know it is. He blames himself, mostly because he's a lovesick idiot, and… I still kinda like that about him.

Things aren't easy. Like, at all. But he does make things better. I think he'd make Buffy proud, how he's helping the gang out now. I'm trying to do that too.

* * *

Summer Two (2002: After Season Six) 

Summers: Two – Buffy's back! Okay, so, that's kinda old news, but I haven't really written in here since it happened. Things have been _pretty_ crazy, and I don't even know the half of it. But, yeah, Cliff Notes Version? Willow brought Buffy back and she and Spike had some thing, but now he's gone. Xander said some stuff about it, but I'm not sure he's exactly objective about the whole thing.

It sucks that I can't seem to keep all of my family with me. They keep going away, and I keep having to be "strong."

Buffy's pretending she's not shaken by everything that went down, but it's so obvious that she is. I really hope Spike comes back and they sort it out. Even if things were as bad as Xander says, Buffy clearly misses him.

It's not good being alone. I know.

* * *

Summer 3 (2003: After Season Seven)

Summers: Still Two – we miss Spike, again! Recap time: Spike came back but there wasn't really the reunion I was expecting. I guess that makes sense, given what happened between him and Buffy.

Side note: Buffy finally talked to me about that. A little, anyway. Apparently, what Xander said was true, but also way more complicated as well. She said it wasn't all Spike's fault and asked me to stop poking around for more details. I'm trying to respect that, though it's weird knowing stuff went down, especially seeing them together every day, and– wait, I'm getting ahead of myself. Where was I?

Spike came back, him and Buffy were weird for a bit, then all this other drama started and they had to team up and fight evil. They got close again, for a while, but in a different way. It's hard to explain, and I'm not even sure they understood it, but Spike was different. He got a freaking soul! And he fought for me, and Buffy, and everyone, and now he's gone. Like, properly this time.

As in dead.

He died saving the world, so I guess he did make Buffy proud in the end, but now I'm back to being alone, and she's missing him again, and everything kinda sucks. But, hey, the world's still here!

…it's really not the same without him.

* * *

Summer 4 (2004: After Angel Season Five)

Summers: Three! OH, MY, GOD, you guys! Spike's alive! He's been with Angel for months, which Buffy was pretty pissed about – him being brought back but neither of them telling her – but one of the teams of Slayers got called into LA after it kinda went to hell, and she found him there.

Buffy got over her fury pretty quickly when she actually saw him face-to-face, and they got back together. But he's not just alive, he's _alive_ -alive, as in human, but with demon strength and stuff.

Apparently, there was a prophecy and this was Spike's destiny all along, to be a champion along with Buffy. They're _so_ happy, it's almost sickening, but I don't even care. I'm happy for them. They deserve happiness, after everything.

Spike's really part of the family now.

For good, I hope.

* * *

Summer 5 (2005: Post Series)

Summers: three and a half. It'll be four after the baby comes.

I'm gonna be an aunt. It's going to be EPIC!

Summers family for the win!


End file.
